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whatever it is, i... im afraid you may take this as me just... being "smart" or an idiot, or my trying to make myself seem like the "odd one out" etc etc etc. you know me too well to know i am not like that.you know me well enough to know i care about nothing other than you! i dont care about me! im shit! im crap! im scum! im not good for anything! what is the basis of my life? what do i live for, since way back when some 29 years ago? what is the truth behind the whole pittyfull bullshit im writing here? to try and make you feel sorry for me? etc... which i know you won't... because i know you don't give a damn... because it's just.... OMGness!!!!! i adore you! do you have any idea! no... you truly don't... i guess... or maybe you do... and you know it way too well!