12:30am

wherever you go, and whatever you do - there will - be the same person i was and where i sound the same, may even move the hands the same, or the feet, maybe the legs, maybe even the face, maybe the skin growing the same way, or maybe every time i breathe there is that same chemical compound going in and out, take a little here, leave some right over there, and. i am this, i stand here, she is that, and she is right there, and she knows more and more, and i know less and less, and she knows this beyond i, and i have nothing left to say, and this is where there is nothing left to do, and the woman i love, yes the woman i live for, the same woman i die for, and the same woman i may live with, the one ive never kissed, the one who never lays her hand on me, the one who touched the jacket i lost - crossing the street - and why because her fingers went close - too close - enough, while someone else stood in the way of my skin running through - into - closer to that beyond, where those, her hands, where she lives, across the way. Our eyes rarely meet. They never did, well, maybe sometimes they have - was it once or twice or was it more times than that? She knows, and I know less. Because if I watched. Because if I saw. Because I would... far, deep, dense, sometime, never this time, when this soon never comes. And soon far, and, but oh so much closer! Closer. She knows right there; and she hates like me; and she knows what I do; and she knows where people live; and she knows where I go. She knows how I stand; she knows where I eat. She knows how long I can stay; she knows what I believe. And she knows how far I can go. She knows where my mind won’t let me lead - she knows the heavens i pray to and for. If she goes, and I stay, and she is there, and she knows this, and she read this before i wrote it, and before i was here, she knew this still waits right there - beside her, within her, right here, next to her, on her, for her, for US! And i want to look up her skirt, the one where she closes my eyes, where i dive underneath. And maybe i shouldn’t write this, but then – sure why not? My insurmountable desire to have this right here and right now where it comes where I go, and where it went and where I followed - but now I sit here. And it comes around. And when it leaves I wait - and when I go it walks beside me - and when I know it goes within me... And at the time for sleep, at the time for sleep we stay home together. We work ‘til late - where she rests her eyes - and I tend to her brain, and knows i handle with care. But she writes it well, so come to some wronger turn - i went; who; where; someone; she what? Gone. Yes, gone. So - again - what is the problem, and who is this i cry for? So something I need to handle and get some hold of? This is for US! This is for US! This is my only reason! This is my only way! If problems arise, let me know. i’ll feel it shove me down. And right there, once i'm done, i promise i’ll go.